THE NEUTRAL ZONE: Where the Old Self Gets an Edge

Stop mistaking the renovation for a collapse. In this week’s edition of
Fork Fear Failure & Hustle: Reimagined, host Ebi Francis dives into the "Neutral Zone"—that uncomfortable, messy middle between who you were and who you are becoming. We’re moving past the "funeral" of the old self and into a Remodel. Learn why the friction you’re feeling right now isn't a sign of failure, but the sound of your foundation being sharpened for the next level of your hustle. 

In this episode:

• Why the "Neutral Zone" is the ultimate competitive conduit.
• How to audit your foundation without losing your history.
• Why "Beginner’s Shame" is just the price of an upgrade.

Self-awareness is the architect; grit is the hammer. Let's get to work.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hey there. Hello and welcome to the show. This is Fork, Fear, Filio, and Hustle Reimagined. How are you doing this week? I'm glad to have you back. Just in case you don't realize this, I want you to know I really, really from the bottom of my heart appreciate you and thank you for coming through for this show every week, downloading, listening, and following the show on the various platforms that we are on. I'm really grateful to you all, and I thank you for responding and coming through as you do every week. It's all about building momentum, choosing your own side, not quitting on yourself. It's all about self-awareness and the ability to pivot when the need arises. Most people think a pivot is a form of crisis or that they have been plunged into a crisis mode. They become weary, they're confused, they're scared, the tension begins to grow more and more because, hey, now I have to pivot into this unknown world I'm trying to get into. They feel exposed, unfinished, and messy. So they panic and run back to the comfort of their old selves. You know, the old you, the old you that is used to doing things a certain way, you don't want anything to change, you just love the status quo and you want it to remain that way. So that when the opportunity or the event arises for you to make a pivot, you feel like you're in crisis and you just want to go back and curl up back into the you that was yesterday. Yes, yes, I I I know you can relate. I know you can relate to that because I've been there too. But that mess, that mess that wants to push you back into your old self, that mess, that's the neutral zone. That is the neutral zone that you and I need. It's not a void, it's a whetstone. You aren't losing the woman, man, or boy, young girl that you were or that brought you thus far. You are sharpening your foundation against the friction of your new reality. You are not falling apart, you are getting an edge because you have been sharpened so that your balance on the edge will be strong. And once you have that strong balance, you don't fall off when you get to that edge or when you feel like you are at the edge. You are not uprooting your whole foundation, you are just about to remodel. You are trying to do something different. In other words, you have to chip some walls, you have to peel some wallpapers, you may have to break some drywalls, you know, and replace them with brand new ones to give the original structure a balance that it was needing because it was a bit shaky prior to the moment and times where you had to force yourself to jump into that mindset of pivoting. So to cross this conduit effectively, we have to treat the old self as the raw material for the upgrade. Yes, you're getting an upgrade when you pivot, when you're willing to not run back to your old self, but looking towards the future and embracing this new part of remodel that you're about to carry out on yourself or even your business that you're trying to do to make it better. Not to just, you know, abandon um ship and move forward to something else. No, but that you could you could do some things different, you can learn how to do some things different, you can embrace some new tools and ideas and um methods that's different from the old ways of doing it to make it better. So before you build the new, you have to acknowledge the non-negotiables of the old. So, from your old self, what is it that is a non-negotiable that you know you can't do without, that you can't cut off, that you can't change, that you can't remodel. What is it in that old self? And what is the other part of you that has to definitely has to go? You you want to be able to identify these two essentials so that whatever you're trying to do while carrying out this mental, physical, emotional, financial, business, whatever type of pivot would work better for you. Because you don't want to just jump into it, you don't want to go into it blind. You want to make sure you have an idea of what you want it to look like and you are willing to put in the work and not just run, go hide when things get challenging, when it gets messy, right? To be able to get it done the way you want it to turn out eventually. So, what are the non-negotiables of the old that has to stay and the ones that has to go in order for the remodel to take place? Because your old self has the grit, the history, and the survival skills. You don't throw those away. So if you have that already, the pre-existing within you, those are areas of your life that you can't throw away because you need them in this new phase and new uh perspective of life, you're you're you're pivoting into. But you gotta strip the wallpaper, or maybe, like I said before, break down some drywalls because you they need replacement. There's been leakages, you know, from the ceiling or somewhere that has caused the the drywalls to soften or you know, not habitable anymore. Maybe there are some molds growing within those drywalls. You gotta break them out and replace them with new ones. So the outdated habits and small thinking, and keep the structural beings. That's your foundation. That's why I said you're not gutting your whole self, you're not gutting the whole house. You are just making sure that you're taking care of parts of the structure, your structure, yourself, not fixed, but remodeled. You're not fixing yourself, you're not broken, but there are parts of you that you just need to remodel, to reshape so that you can get into this new phase of yours that you want to get into. Because some parts are outdated, maybe like routines or something you like doing before, or certain types of habits that you know are no longer serving you. You gotta let them go and let in the new that you know will direct you and put you in the right path to where you are trying to go. Right? I hope I'm not just ranting, but I'm speaking truth that you can relate to because we are all in it. I am currently in a pivoting situation that I will share with you before the end of the show. Do not go anywhere, okay. Embracing the raw exposure of you, the dusty parts of you, you got to embrace them in the neutral zone. The old protections are gone, and the new ones, yeah, we don't have the new walls yet. We don't have, we've not like we're still in the process of removing the ones that are outdated. So now, once you remove them before you replace with the new ones, you have this exposure where you can see through. What I'm trying to say is we have to get used to seeing through, we have to get used to that exposure because it helps you see how much damage or how much um rut has taken place because you are now in the neutral zone, you are no longer in your whole full past self, you are not fully in the present or in the future, you are in between, you are in the neutral zone. The old protections are gone, and the new walls aren't up yet, so you are in the middle. Basically, it's like a draft. You've just written a draft of that script, you've written a draft of that proposal. It's it's drafty. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Those moments are definitely uncomfortable. You want to see it come to fruition quickly, but it never really happens that way. Be patient so that when it's done, it comes out whole, beautiful, strong, and balanced, sharp, just like the whetstone would help you do. That's what we want. So, yes, it's uncomfortable. This is where most people quit because they hate being a beginner again. In just a moment, I'll tell you my own beginner story, like that. I'm currently as we speak in and why it's really a good thing to be a beginner. Sit with the exposure, sit with it, do not run away from your exposure. Like I said, it helps you see through what the walls were covering. You didn't see the rot in between the walls until you brought it down. After bringing it down, when you pulled off the wallpapers, you see the damage that's been done to your wall. Or when you broke off the drywall, you see the damage that the water had done, or the you see the mold that has been building up behind those drywalls. So sit with the exposure, get used to it, get friendly with it, get to admire the dynamics of it. It's the road to transformation, it's the road to a pivot. It's out with the old, in with the new. You hear this phrase a lot: fake it till you make it. I don't know what the interpretation of that means to you. I don't know how to fake it till I make it. I mean, I know how to stay in my lane. I know how to choose myself when it's hard, when it gets messy. I know how to mind my business when it gets messy. Find solutions and resolutions to the issues when it gets messy. I learn how to pivot when it gets messy. That's what essentially this means. You look polished while you are still under construction. One blow of air, you probably fall down crumbling because guess what? The structure is not balanced yet. Like the whetstone sharpening hasn't taken place, but because it's been polished before it's done, you come out looking shiny, but then there's no balance. You crumble. You crumble just by the by the little wind that blows or comes your way. Because the site has not been fully constructed yet. I am currently going through a pivot, a reconstruction. I am a beginner in an area, in a career, in an environment that I never ever thought in my wildest dreams I will be in. Never thought I will be in. Not in my wildest dreams. But looking at my old self, assessing my old old self, evaluating my old self. I knew I needed to take quickly this step, this direction, this pivot, to sharpen the me that I'm trying to work towards. I knew I had to take stock. I knew I had to got some part of me that is outdated and is no longer serving me. I have been an entrepreneur for a decade. I started early. And so now I'm learning some things that I wish I had learned then. I am still an entrepreneur at heart. But guess what? I had to go back into the job market. So now I am an employee. Not just an employee of any company or establishment. I am an employee in a classroom setting. In other words, in a school setting, in front of students, never in my wildest dreams did I ever imagine myself standing in front of students in a classroom and doing the teaching thing or speaking to students as though you were practicing teaching. Never saw myself in that picture at all. Like, I mean, never. Even with the use of a binocular, I never saw myself doing that. But I'm doing it today. I'm a beginner in an area that I never imagined I'll be know nothing about, know nothing about, didn't feel like I fit in. Because I feel like teachers have a special type of calling. You know, for you to be a teacher, I always felt like teachers have something special in them that not everybody has. Learning how to speak to students, learning to wake up early in the morning. Anybody who knows me know I hate, I hate anything early in the morning. But guess what? Your girl is waking up early in the morning. Don't get me wrong. And I'm serious about this. Do not get it twisted. It is a struggle. It is a struggle. Has been a struggle. But I'm not giving up. I'm not giving up because the whetstone is sharpening me. It's sharpening my edges. So I'm rolling with the punches, with the challenges, with the pain and the exhaustion that comes from waking up early because I'm not an early sleeper. I'm learning how to stand in front of a classroom, to introduce myself and talk to students. And if you are a teacher, you would know what I'm about to say. The students of these days, my goodness, I was one of them. I can't remember ever having the types of attitudes and hormones that these kids exhibit these days. So walking into classrooms like that and talking to young stars, with their attitudes and moods, swings, and you know, various ways of talking to you and listening or not listening. And I'm saying to myself, I never thought I could put up with you know stuff like this. Because I'm like a no-nonsense person. I'm learning to bend my own rules as a beginner in the academic world to learn, to adapt, to change where changes are needed. But not the whole of me, just parts of me. I'm seeing the benefits of waking up early. Gradually, my system is beginning to adapt to it, and I'm beginning to like it too. These days, when I wake up on the days when I don't have to go to school, I try to wake up early still, like I'm about to go, you know, into the classroom and start my day doing one thing or the other. And sometimes, you know, unconsciously I turn around and I'm like, what? What time is it? Like, what? It's just 10 o'clock. I'm like, okay, wow. And I feel like I've been up since yesterday. Because why? I got up early. I'm able to get more things done of at all. I mean, I hear people say they wake up at 4 a.m., 5 a.m. to do this and that and that. And I'm like, yeah, good for you. I can't see myself doing that. But I'm doing it now. I'm doing it now because I need it. It's a part of me that needs to change. Yes, it's hard. It's messy because I'm still under construction. I'm not trying to act like I'm polished. No, I'm not. I'm not faking it till I make it. Sometimes I get to school, I'd be like, look, I apologize. I'm late. Point blank simple. I will do better. And I've been doing better. Yay! I'm proud of myself, believe it or not. So do not try to polish yourself when you're under construction. You can do it. Sit with that exposure within you. Sit with it. I'll be right back. Hey there. Welcome back to the show. This is your host, AB Francis. The friction creates heat. Gutting some parts of the old you so that you can introduce the new parts to the old parts of you that you want to retain. You are going back forward and backwards and forward and backwards. But it's a tempering process. It is the tempering process. Because the friction creates heat. And heat tempers steel. The zone of shift is where you take an old skill, like your ability to lead or your eye for detail and apply it to a high-stakes new environment. Think about that for a second. Let's say you worked in construction, for example, or you worked as a nurse in a hospital, and now you're transitioning because you feel like it's time for you to pivot from working in the hospital, or maybe doing one-on-one cases with patients to going into hospital administration or something like that, just whatever that is for you. So you bring along the skills that you have learned, that you have picked up along the way. And the abilities that those skills have enabled you to do into something new, into a new environment that would obviously benefit from those skills that you have picked up along the way. Your new environment. So those skills you've picked up in any part of your career, previous careers, or businesses, or um sports, um, if you are not lead, um, just whatever you know are the strengths, are strengths that you've picked up, that skills that you've picked up from those endeavors in the past that you can bring, pull in from into the new environment as high stakes for you. This is how you sharpen the original you into the optimized you. So you are not entirely trying to become a brand new person, you are just sharpening the old you, the original you into the optimized you. How does that sound? Tell me, how does that sound? I have a friend who actually um funny, I I brought up the the story of or the uh uh example of a nurse or someone working in the hospital. I have a friend who actually is a nurse who has worked many, many years in in the hospital system. And you know, a lot of the times when we're talking, she's like, I know that I don't want to do nursing again in the next couple of years. I want to find something else I could do that I would love the same way I love nursing, but I don't know what. And I don't know how I'm gonna cope, I don't know what I'm gonna do. And I keep saying to her, girl, you can't do it. When the time comes, once you find that thing that is calling your name, the pivot won't be as hard as you think. Because you already have the skills, the people skills. You you relate to people, you've managed people, you've done different things in that environment that you could bring with you to help you navigate whatever it is, your pivot directs you to, as long as you're willing to become a beginner, but with some skills that would help you approach it in a more proficient way, where your original you becomes an optimized you. I hope this makes sense to you. My shenanigans corner is coming up. Don't go nowhere. Drum roll, please. It's time for our shenanigans corner. Yay! Hey there, welcome back to my shenanigans corner. So I have a very short story I want to share. I got this from social media, Instagram to be specific. It is not AI at all, and it's related to our kids. This video comes from somewhere outside of the United States. I think it's somewhere from Asia. What I observed, what was happening in that video, happens even here, every day, every single day. We send our kids to various daycares or classrooms to learn amongst peers, but then there are the bullies. Bullying has become a trend that is such a troubling a troubling concern of mine. And I hope it is for you too. I hope it is for you too. This video when I watched it, my mouth was just a gape like this. Like I couldn't close my mouth because I could not believe what I was watching. I'm talking about kids like maybe between the ages of five and eight years old. You can see they're pretty much all the same height, like little kids. The setting was in a room, in a daycare. I would say that's a daycare or a classroom. Doesn't really look like it, it wasn't really set up like a classroom per se. I would say that was a daycare. Like, like he or she was kicked from one end to the other, stomped on. I like my mouth was wide open. I could not believe what I was watching. I mean, these are kids, little kids, little kids. This went on for at least two minutes. They were pouncing on this one child, and that child was flat on the floor, being kicked, stomped. One of them basically, you know, jumped over, jumped on that kid. Like, you know how the WW wrestlers do when they get up on top of the ring or the ringside and and jump on onto their uh or their opponent, that kid climbed on top of the table and jumped on the one that was on the floor. All of that. I'm talking about maybe four, five, six kids beating up on one child. And I'm like, God, I hope they don't kill that child. And are there no adults? And then shortly after, an adult shows up from nowhere because the angle of the camera is atop, so you could see everything that was happening. It's not AI at all. This adult shows up from nowhere and pulls one of the kids out, and the video ends. And I'm like, what the fuck was all that about? Like, what? What is going on with our kids these days? What are our parents? Parents, what are we teaching our kids? Like, what are we exposing them to? For little kids to be so mean to their fellow peers like that. What is going on? Seriously. I have never seen something like that. I mean, it's it's like that other child being gang bit up by his or her fellow classmates. Not one, not one of them tried to step in to stop the other. No. Instead, you see the other ones that were not partaking in the fight, they were just running around like playing, like, you know, like that was another show or another type of play, you know, they're used to. Parents, we need to do better. Check on your kids. We need to do better. These are little kids. Like, where do you learn such aggressive behaviors from? How we have to do better. We need to like something has to give. Because the kind of mean spirit our young kids have these days is scary. It's scary. I just told a story about how I'm in the school sector right now, and I'm telling you, every day is a revelation for me. Every day is something new. Like, I'm like, I would just sit down and look at them and be like, God, help us. Because I don't know what the future holds if these kids would continue like this. Not all of them, don't get me wrong. I'm just saying generally, you know. So this video basically took me back, and I'm like, what is going on? That's what I keep asking. What is going on with our kids? Parents, where are we going wrong? What can we do to change the dynamics of the behaviors of our young children? At least the young ones, they are still very little. We could do something to impact some type of positive change. Because bullying is not something that should be happening in the lives and in the mix of such little kids. Yeah, it was heartbreaking to watch. It was heartbreaking to watch. I was shocked to my bone. I was like, I watched the video like five times trying to make sure I'm not I'm not going crazy or something. Bullying is a huge problem. Our kids becoming meaner and meaner to to each other every day is becoming a huge problem. It's a trend that is not going anywhere, and I don't know why. I don't know which way the direction is going or going to go from here on out. Imagine such five, six, seven, eight years old children behaving in that manner. What happens when they turn fifteen, ten, eighteen, twenty, twenty five? What happens? Your guess is as good as mine. I'm not judging, I'm just saying there is a problem we need to address as parents, as a society, as a culture, as a country, as a world. We need to watch out because our kids, our kids, I'll just leave it there. I'll leave it there. That was some shenanigan video I watched, and I had to speak about it. I hope this gets you thinking about your own kids, about your own grandkids, about the kids in your community, your churches, you know, and your environment in general. Welcome back to the show. So let's do this. In closing, I want to close the episode, but I'm not gonna close it without leaving you with something to continue pondering on. The version of you six months from now is already standing in the new wing of your life. They aren't looking back at you with pity, they are looking back with respect because you had the guts, you had the kahunas, you had the oomph to stay in the sawdust when everyone else ran for the exit. You stayed, you sat with the exposure and looked through it and assessed it. And yes, you sat there and got yourself sharpened by the whetstone. That's a big deal. You need to give yourself a path in the back. You did not run for the exit. You stayed. The edge you are looking for isn't in a new book or a new tool. It's in the sharpening of the foundation you already have. I'll see you in the new wing. Now get to work. Thank you for listening. This podcast is produced by Brick Barrier Productions and hosted by AB Francis. Subscribe now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, or anywhere you find your podcasts.